I Guess This Is Goodbye
by Melanie Grey
Summary: We all know what Alli was thinking when she made her decision to leave Degrassi. But what does Clare think about all this? A look into Clare's thoughts through her emotional goodbye to her best friend. Alli/Clare friendship.


**Title: I Guess This Is Goodbye**

**Summary: We all know what Alli was thinking when she made her decision to leave Degrassi. But what does Clare think about all this? A look into Clare's thoughts through her emotional goodbye to her best friend. Alli/Clare friendship. **

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. Why did I have to have my best friend taken away from me? Sure it was just across town, but it would completely separate us. I won't be able to see her often. I know that as a fact. She wants to reform herself, her image. It would be good for Alli, just to get away from Degrassi and the drama the surrounds the school like a blanket. I'm happy that she is doing this for herself, but, and I know this is selfish, does she really _have_ to leave? It seems as if everyone I get close to leaves me. Darcy went to Kenya, K.C. left me for Jenna, my parents are becoming more and more estranged, and now Alli is leaving. I have Eli but will he be the next to leave?

This can't be happening. I thought this year would be great, a new year a new start, for both of us. Things never turn out as planned here. I fell for my polar opposite, and Alli nabbed the man of her dreams. My boyfriend almost got stabbed right in front of my eyes and Alli's cheated on her with an easy girl who send indecent photographs of herself to people. My parents can barely talk to each other anymore and hers found out all the skeletons in her closet and can barley fathom what she has done. Guilt is gnawing at my insides as I stand there watching her clean out her locker. She is not a bad person she doesn't deserve to leave.

Drew comes up to Alli and I. Alli's eyes are red and rimmed with tears, just like mine. He asks to walk her to class and I decide to step away for a minute and let them talk. _'It's all his fault'_ an angry voice in my head says. If it wasn't for Drew Alli wouldn't have gotten caught in the boiler room. If it wasn't for Drew Alli and Bianca wouldn't have gotten in a fight. If it wasn't for Drew Alli parents wouldn't know about everything that happened when we were niners. If it wasn't for Drew my best friend wouldn't have to leave me. I wanted to scream at him, tell him I hate him, I wanted him to hurt as much as I did. That wasn't right though, if it wasn't Drew it would have been someone else eventually. Sure I was angry with him but I would have to forgive him eventually. Maybe it was all suppose to happen this way. God only knows the answer.

I couldn't make out the conversation they were having but I knew she wasn't letting him have his second chance anymore. I was proud of her for that, it took guts. She wouldn't let him touch her either, she knew what she wanted. Soon after he walked away looking disappointed. I took this chance to walk back over. Tears were running down her face. It hurt to see her so hurt and upset like this.

"Are you okay?" I asked concern lining my broken voice. She sniffled trying not to breakdown in front of me. Why was she the one that had to hurt like this? "I know who you are." I tell her. "A total screw up?" She answers.

'_That isn't true!'_ My mind screams. I know who she is. Alli is a kind hearted, loveable and loving person. She's pretty much my sister. She is a friend, a daughter, a sister, a girl who had made normal, human mistakes.

"No, No" I say and grab her hands. "You are a good, funny, sweet person." I declare as tears start to fall from my eyes too. "You're Alli," She takes a deep breathe collecting herself.

"And you're the best friend a screw up could ever have." She says completing my sentence. At this point we are both messes, we feel each others pain. I reach for her and we embrace. A hug, so soft and comforting both of us need. What can we do but hold on to one another in our dual misery? Thinking back to last year who would have thought this would be happening? I couldn't have asked for a better friend then the one right in front of me here.

"I hope that doesn't change." Alli whispers. We hold on for a few more seconds before breaking apart. I smile at Alli. "You'll still be my best friend." I tell her. No one can possibly replace her. "Even at some school across town." The conversation turns serious again.

This is possibly the hardest thing she has ever had to do. I can tell, tears continue to fall from her eyes and she gently wipes them away, not wanting our last memory for now to be thought back upon miserably. In the future this won't be a bad memory. It will be a testament to our friendship. As we grow up we will have to say goodbye, sometimes it will be harder then a hockey puck and others will be miniscule in comparison. This is a hockey puck like goodbye.

"Wish me like." It's the last thing she says. She puts on a brave face and flashes me a sad smile. She wipes her tears one more time and closes her locker. Now she walks away. All I want is to run after her and beg her not to leave, but I can't do that. I can't make Alli turn around, she needs this and I have t let her go.

So this is it after a building a robot, a couple detentions, makeovers, a black and white dance, going to a clinic, getting cheated on, fake boob jobs, dance crews, new boyfriends, Vegas Night, and a cat fight we said goodbye. Our lives are forever intertwined. We've been through good times and bad, up's and down's, sidewinders, and loop-de-loops. Now it's her new beginning and maybe one for me too.

**A/N: This Alli's new beginning changing schools and getting away from boys. I think Alli leaving is going to have a part in her little transformation/rebellion. Based on promos I feel this season is going to largely revolve around Clare and I feel like her sudden changes are going to confuse me. Prepare for oneshots. **


End file.
